Gratitude

A quick post today insha'Allah, as I am preparing for our journey to Senegal (actually it is a relocation...for one year...), and time is getting a bit tight...

My mother is quite ill, and is undergoing various treatments, and is in turn dealing with all the related side effects on top of the disease itself. Of course this makes me a bit wary of being out of the country for such a long time, but she (being the truly noble woman who she is) has encouraged me to travel anyway. She recognizes the benefit for our family, and will also most likely be fine while we are gone even if she is does not have optimal health.

Anyway, this has me contemplating what it means to us when we lose the people we love, when they pass from this world into the next. I thought about my Grandmother, and how much I would love to speak to her from time to time. She was a wonderful human being, noble, generous, humble, and wise. But Allah's decree was that I would only have her in my life for a fixed amount of time, and I've learned it is never wise to argue with the decree of Allah.

And then I realized that we too often feel sorry for ourselves when we lose our loved ones. This is of course a normal and human response, but the higher response is one of gratitude. If we have benefited from having known and loved these people, we should be eternally grateful to Allah for having put them in our lives for a time. When I change my focus in this way, I feel as if I am moving in harmony with Allah's plan, and am less detached from what my nafs (self) desires.

I also came to see that while my Grandmother has passed from this world, she is in a sense still here. The benefit she gave to all of us who knew her lives on, and insha'Allah we carry that to others in our lives. She lives on through us, as we might not be who we are if we did not know her.

And so it is with all our loved ones. Unfortunately sometimes we have people who leave a negative impact, but deep spiritual work is the key to removing those effects, and enhancing the positive.

So I do not know what will happen to the people I know and love while I am gone. I do not know even where the door lies for myself, but I will surely pass through it one day. But I feel a bit more at peace with the uncertainty, for the blessings of Allah have been great in my life.